Above All Else - Be Kind...

As I send my 7 year old out into the multi-cultural, multi-aged, two-gendered world of "play with your friends", my final instructions to her are always, "Above all else - be kind." And that's the boiled down version of the lengthy discussions on "don't be bossy", "take turns picking the game", "Even if everyone else is making fun - you don't make fun", "Even if someone is being mean - you don't be mean back"... "Above all else - be kind". I expect her to fail at that more often than not, just as I do. I will ever remind her of it, because I know it is her heart's desire. When she is pushed and every fiber of her being says "push back - harder", perhaps I can be the voice in her head telling her "Above all else - be kind"; not because I want her to be easily manipulated or a push over, but because I don't want her to do something she'll regret IF I can help it. I wan't her to stand up for herself, I want her to form her own opinions and voice them, I want her to be strong, but none of that at the expense of someone else. I want her to stand up for herself and pull the other guy up with her as well; I want her to form and voice her own opinions in a way that instructs with an overabundance of resources, sources, and information but does not belittle; I want her to be strong because she's made every effort to make sure those around her have also been strengthened. Will I be disappointed when she falls down and chooses not to keep herself in check every once and awhile? Ashamedly, yes... but only because I have failed to see how often my heavenly Father has looked past my stumbling to the next lesson... never for a moment taking the time to point His finger at me in disapproval. If He can do that with me, I am forever encouraged to do that for her. Correct her path unwaveringly, but not give her a feeling of hopelessness.   
As I sit here waiting for the bottom layer to dry on a canvas, I'm collecting all of my weightier thoughts from this last week such as "What's my purpose?" "How can I make a difference?" "Will I be successful at something?" "There's so many in need, and I want to be a part of the solution, but how?" To the simpler thoughts of "I have so much joy in my life." "I am so grateful for my family, friends, home, income..." to the paintings I've enjoyed painting and practicing on even if they are still not the envisioned masterpiece brushed on with great ease and the mellow attitude of highly intoxicated French art-eeest, but more the "Hey, you can barely see that huge mistake. Nice." And I think of the overly common phrase "Find joy in the journey"... Which is really a guaranteed failure if not given with the broader instruction: "Don't give up. Keep hoping. Keep dreaming. Be grateful. Don't blame or shame, just learn. Never look back, except for perspective purposes. You never know what tomorrow will bring - it could be exactly what you've been looking for. And if you do all of that - you will be able to find 'joy in the journey'". This next painting is something I've never tried before and if it doesn't work out you won't hear about it most likely - goodness knows, I'm not THAT humble;) - but I am excited to try it because it doesn't require any distinction in depth, no proper placement of items to give the right scope to the landscape. I am excited about this because it is something I really struggle with as I don't have good depth perception at all. Driving with me is a real delight; playing "catch" with me is better referred to as playing "pick-up" (which doesn't quite have the same enticing ring to it, oddly enough...). But painting has helped me practice at my perception of depth, and working at it always reminds me of my earliest memory of practicing my perception of depth and it involved stairs... It was before I was school age, but old enough to walk and I remember these wooden stairs in our house so vividly... their dark brown chipping paint, the railing barely within reach, the cold hard concrete at the bottom, the one 40 watt lightbulb dimly lighting the 12 to 14 stairs and that was only if someone had left it on, because I wasn't tall enough to reach the switch... I remember falling down those stairs EVERY time I tried to descend them, so much so that I remember being at the top and thinking a small child's version of "The only way I ever make it down these stairs is by falling, so... away we go". And eventually ... now you're hoping I say, "Eventually I learned how walk down them without falling", but that sadly isn't the case.... no, eventually I learned that crying at the bottom just took up time. The pain became predictable and therefore manageable. That's life. It's going to hurt a little bit and maybe even A LOT. Over time I became tall enough to grasp the railing to the stairs with both hands... But those stairs taught me a very important lesson: they were never going to change, I had to adapt. I had to get smarter, stronger, braver, and never give up. 
So to wrap up these acrobatic contortions of my ever evolving thoughts on life and learning, I will say: we'll stumble and fail - you can count on it; we may or may not be successful, but we will keep getting up every day, because you just never know; life will never get easy; but no matter what above all else - we will be kind. 
I hope this blog finds you practicing at something you love, just because you love it. And if you don't have anything (legal;) that you enjoy doing, I hope you find someone who is practicing at something they love and you practice right along with them, just for the sheer energy involved in having a "passion". Happy practicing!!                  


*The above paintings are the 'dot paintings' I was working on at the time of writing this. I hope to do a 'tips and tricks for dot painting' blog soon. 

5 Tricks to make Cooking and Cleanup Easier

You may have seen my earlier post on the effectiveness of Norwex in speeding up cleanup time... but there are a few additional tricks I've come across recently that I think may be helpful as well... -

1. Have a sharp slicing knife. You've probably heard from multiple tv chefs that the most valuable possession in a kitchen is a sharp knife. They say that because it's TRUE. A good knife will save you enormous amounts of time and effort. You will be able to slice through hard-shelled fruits/veggies easily; thinly slice raw meats evenly; slice up freshly baked anything without mashing, etc. 
Don't go too cheap, a good knife will be worth every cent. It is one kitchen utensil that will instantly decrease prep time on any given meal.

2. Start off with a sink full of hot, soapy water. I know, we all hope and pray with every dish we dirty during meal prep that "Kitchen Fairies" really exist and that they'll be popping in right after the meal to start on the cleanup... I'm very sorry to burst any soap bubble of hope that may be floating by, but that's just not going to happen. And lets face it, no one will be volunteering to scrub those pots and pans after dinner either... So, cinch up those apron strings and start making your life easier by filling the kitchen sink up with hot, soapy water right from the start, that way when you've used a dish for mixing or a pot for boiling, you can quickly rinse and throw it in the soapy water to soak. Then when you have a couple extra seconds while you're waiting on a burner to heat up, of the entree to cook on one side, you can grab that dish and give it a quick wash and rinse. You will be that much closer to getting off your feet after dinner.

3. Nonstick pans are invaluable. I've recently purchased a Gotham steel frying pan, and although it doesn't allow me the freedom of not using cooking spray or butter as shown on tv... it does make the clean up of anything fried or sautéed a breeze. And it cuts down on dishes used when whipping ingredients together as I can throw all of the ingredients together in the same pan I'll be cooking them in. In addition to nonstick pans I use aluminum foil and parchment paper (up to 420F, *be careful that it's oven-safe) for almost anything I put in the oven. Rewarming rice, baking fish, pizza, or cookies - put down aluminum foil/parchment paper first and then for cleanup - just throw it away! What could be easier than that? And did you know that they make disposable liners for crockpots? Best. invention. ever. Your melted chocolate almond bark has never been easier to clean up!!

4. Plan meals with similar ingredients that can all be prepped at the same time.  For instance, if you plan tacos for one night and omelets for the next, you can slice up (with your newly purchased sharp chef knife I might add...;) green onions, peppers, jalapeños, tomatoes, olives, avocados, etc... enough for both meals at one time. Then have the throw together meal on an evening you're cramped for time.

5. Use baggies or storage containers as serving dishes when possible. I know "classy," right? But in all reality if you don't have time or energy to do the after meal dishes, and you go to a drive-thru instead - guess what your family will be eating out of... That's right. Bags and throwaway containers. So save yourself some money and energy, and meal prep with cleanup in mind. Serve the entree in a pan that has a lid for leftovers, or in an aluminum foil-lined dish for easy cleanup. Put those sliced, raw veggies and toppings in baggies that can be easily zipped-up and thrown into the fridge if there's leftovers. Martha Stewart will not be stopping by, and even if she did, she'd probably say "Easy cleanup - it's a good thing!"

What are some tips and tricks you use to make cooking and cleanup easier? I'd love to hear them and put them to use!!     

I'm just glad you're here.

"Don't you ever feel sorry for yourself, kiddo. There is always someone worse off than you are. No matter what. Always someone worse off who's not feeling sorry for themselves, so you shouldn't either," said the van driver as he flicked his cigarette onto the ground early that cold fall morning. I was 10, I think. My mom and I were set to begin our biannual trip on the "short bus" for low income families to the children's hospital for crippled kids. And just in case the wheelchair ramp, or the old guys with the funny looking hats didn't give away where we were headed, it was plastered all over the 15 passenger van: "Shriners Hospital for Crippled Children". They did that so other drivers cruising down the interstate could peer in and stare as we drove by. Some would even flip us off for fun.
 I've had dozens and dozens of people give me the exact same unprovoked pep-talk that bus driver gave me that morning. People I don't even know, people I'll never see again - "don't feel sorry for yourself, there's always someone worse off." I don't remember responding to him that day, but I doubt I said much. I rarely talked on the 12 hour van ride there, and never talked to the doctors and nurses once we arrived. Couldn't they see, if I were worse off I'd belong here at this hospital, or if I were better off I'd belong in the world I lived in every day. I didn't feel sorry for myself from what I could tell, I just wanted a category that I fit into. Someone to tell me - "you fit here; we want you. You don't embarrass us. We're not ashamed of you. You won't be the best, and you'll most times even be the worst, and that's fine - we're just glad you're here."  How many uncomfortable meltdowns in front of my peers those words could have prevented. No one knew that was what I needed to hear, not even me. I mistook my pride throughout childhood and the teen years for low self-esteem. I thought if people could just really praise me for the few things I could do, I would feel so much better about myself. I'd feel good about being "me". But that wouldn't have been true. I needed to find out - it's ok to be the worst, the last... to fail. The loser belongs here just as much as the winner. We all play the game together. And the loser who loses gracefully and graciously is really the winner after all. He gets the position all the winners in the world combined, could not have filled. Take a bow, win the crowd - they choose you as their champion! And I mean that as someone in the crowd - YOU are the people's choice.  

 "Shoot for the dreams within your ever shrinking horizon" - that's my life's motto. My dad took me for a walk one day, I don't think I was much older than 7. He, as any good father would have done, clued me in on the life that lay ahead: "...You're going to have to try for a career that's within your abilities. Maybe a secretary... Something like that..." "Oh no I'm not," I thought to myself, "I'm going to do whatever I want to do!" Many years later as I listened to my husband on the phone to my then employer telling them I wouldn't be coming in that day or ever again, because I couldn't lift my head off of the pillow - "I guess, maybe I'll try for something within my abilities... if I just knew what they were..." I am physically capable of doing just about anything - once. What limits me physically, is met equally by my limits mentally. An ocean of limitless possibilities if only it weren't for... the limits. But that's okay, I won't feel sorry for myself, I don't need to - because I'm here. And I belong here. And I will have to get up the nerve to do that thing everyone else does without a second thought, and I will be awkward and blush at all of the wrong times, and I will make people roll their eyes or feel bothered. I probably won't do whatever it is - right, and I probably won't start being good at it today... But I'm here, because I belong here, doing this thing called "life", I enjoy doing so much.  I'll do my best not to hurt anybody, and maybe even let someone else know - "you fit here; I want you. You don't embarrass me. I'm not ashamed of you. You won't be the best, and you will most times even be the worst, and that's fine - I'm just glad you're here."  

Planters for Pennies a Piece

If you have extra water jugs waiting to go to the recycle bin, you may just want to save them! If you think you may need some extra pots for starting seeds, or a very inexpensive planter to give as a gift this Mother's Day; or maybe you're in need of a super festive napkin holder, or candy bowl - these may be just what you are looking for!!

Let's get started on making them!!


Supplies you'll need:
Your basic crafter's tools...

If you'd like to use this as a planter you may want to add drainage holes first, as putting them in later may prove to be very difficult, structurally...

Then, we'll tape off the jug for a nice clean straight line, or at least as much as possible... It is very easy to gouge out a big piece of your jug with the slightest, unintentional pressure on the scissors in the wrong direction... Not to mention jugs are the most surreal cylindrical optical illusion... ever. You think you're going straight, you think you're cutting right, you think it's going to work out perfectly... nope. You're going up when you should go down and visa versa... To counter this twilight zone illusion, we use tape as our straight edge... easy peasy.

Next comes cutting off the top. I poked a starter hole with a knife and then snipped out the rest along the line with scissors....

Then comes the painting! I wanted a heavy texture on my pots to camouflage the jug shape as much as possible... So I picked a Hammered paint and primer in one... Keep in mind when choosing your paint, that the jug is not a porous surface, so acrylic paint (among others) would rub off very easily...

After the paint dries, you will be able to apply your colorful duct tape! I tried to put a little more than half on the outside of the pot.... Making it straight is tricky, and if you have to peel it away, some paint may come as well... But it's very doable if you're patient and work your way around slowly. If you choose a tape that has lines on it, you can easily use those as guides.

I snipped the corners to make the four sides lay down smoothly rather than crumpling up inside.

Fold the tape down. Lookin' good! Just press out any wrinkles.

I added a bow to mine, but you could bedazzle your pot however you wish! I found this blog to be very helpful in designing my bow.... Then I hot glued it on, but if I had something stronger like cement glue for instance, it may have worked better.... It stays put with the hot glue, but it is anxiously awaiting the chance to dislodge... Super glue does not work on duct tape, crazy huh?!

Ta-da!! Pots for pennies a piece! And to think, you were about to throw those jugs out!!;)

But wait!! There's more:

You can upcycle your pop cans too!!!!!!!
 Unbelievable.



;)Thanks for reading!! Happy Planting!!

5 Helpful Thoughts to Overcome Frustration While Chasing Your Dreams

Sometimes it feels like the road to success is paved with gold for everyone else, but you. All of your energy, talent, willpower, drive - poured into your quest for attaining that dream - and yet here you are again at the base of another gargantuan mountain... You're frustrated. You're nanoseconds away from throwing in the towel and giving up on that dream completely - Wait! Maybe, just maybe these thoughts can help you, too!!

This state of being you're in right now, is only your CURRENT state, not your everlasting state of being -  You are only going to improve. You may have failed a thousand times before, whereby eliminating a thousand ways to fail. Look at how far you've come now! Going over that preceding mountain was not a waste or a misstep, it was part of YOUR journey. If you wouldn't have learned what you learned from that mountain, you would have had to learn it from another... 

Have you spent a thousand hours attempting, practicing, trying, but still missing the mark? Those are hours that had to be spent; they were a deposit that had to be made. Now you are that much further ahead. You are moments away from your next milestone, if you just keep moving forward. 

There's a difference between long-term goals and short-term goals - Are you trying to empty the ocean with a 5 gallon bucket? It won't happen overnight... But could you take that 5 gallon bucket and fill up a small pool? All in a days work! Do you feel like you are choking on your talent? Take smaller bites... You may not be able to learn to paint a "Picasso" overnight, but in a good days work, you could learn to draw some killer stick figures! You've got your google maps zoomed out on the entire country as your long-term goal, now zoom in to the turn by turn roadmap... The outcome will be the same, but the journey will be far less frustrating and much more rewarding. 

The "struggle" gives your product "value" - Think - coal to diamonds; think - pebbles to pearls; think - caterpillar to butterfly; think - Sistine Chapel! It's the struggle that gives your product value. It'll be the struggle that makes you stronger. It's the struggle that sets you apart. There's no cheating, or taking short cuts, just one struggling feat at a time. And no matter what - the struggle is unavoidable. You won't get ANYWHERE if you aren't struggling against anything, even if only struggling against space itself... 

You are unique - Billions of people on the planet, and there's only one with your story, only one with your skill set, only one with your path, only one with your ambition, only one with your character, only one on your journey - and it's YOU! You have something to offer unique from ALL others, because there can only be one you, and you're it! Wear "You" as a mark of distinction. Your meandering journey against the rocks and ridges, raging rivers and babbling brooks have edged away at a shape to create the artwork that is at the heart of who you are. Don’t wish that uniqueness away - embrace it. Let it lift you to higher heights.

There’s a time to be whimsical – The mind, body, and soul can only take so much focused, nose to the grindstone “training”. Every now and then, you have to recalibrate. You have to breathe in the whole experience from another perspective. You have to retrace your steps, your motivations, your hopes… What path led you here, and where is it taking you next? How far will it take you? Does it reach your full potential, or will you need to merge onto another path? Will you get to see everything you want to see on this path or is a detour in order? 

What inspired your dream in the first place will most likely reignite the fire of ambition to propel you towards your goal once more. Start over again from where it was fun, new, and adventurous. Sand off the marred imperfections of doubt and worry and coat on a fresh layer of enthusiasm.

You’ve got this! You’re going to strive forward from one mountaintop to the next, each time gaining a new perspective and a clearer path forward. Don’t give up now – you’ve come too far. Detour; meander… do whatever it takes to keep moving towards your dreams!!

Thanks for reading!! Feel free to comment below - I love to hear your feedback!!

Girlfriends: stay safe!

All of the recent news surrounding public restrooms has really brought to light a vulnerability in society that, I think, would be prudent to address and give thought to... 
Public restrooms/locker rooms/dressing rooms are not safe environments no matter what the law is... A quick Google search of "tiny cameras", "spy cameras", etc... will give a better understanding of what a person needs to be watchful of. If someone is invading your personal space in any way (a purse or any personal effect is set down encroaching your stall) be mindful of the risk that you could be being recorded or watched... A quick glance of the fixtures in your stall before disrobing for things that don't belong or anything out of the ordinary is always a good rule of thumb... 
Most malls have a long, long creepy hallway back to the restrooms - watch for people who may seem to be "keeping a lookout", people who are loitering... The more distracted one is, and the longer the "pit stop" is, the more vulnerable a person becomes. I like to make a mental note of the safest and most private restrooms at any given business and then if my kiddo and I are able to use those rather than others, that's what we'll do. 
If I'm clothes shopping, I really prefer that my husband escort me while I'm in the dressing rooms... The locks and doors in most dressing rooms are notoriously flimsy, and you are generally at the most vulnerable state you'll ever be in public while in a dressing room or locker room... 
Get in, get out, don't be distracted, be mindful of your surroundings and those loitering, and then - watch out for your fellow man. If you see someone who is putting themselves at risk, or is being "stalked" by someone, or something just doesn't quite feel right... Be vocal about it. "Do you know that person?" "There's someone outside the door, just so you know." "Is everything ok - if not, I can find a security guard to walk you out." 
The more people power we claim, the less power predators will have. We don't ever live in fear, but we aren't going to become victims either. 
What other things do you do to keep yourself and your family safe in these public places?

3D Butterfly Artwork

This 3D Butterfly Artwork was so much fun to create! 

I had rounded up a few similar ideas on Pinterest and then added in my own flair to make it unique. And just in case you'd like to make one for yourself, I documented the whole process in pictures. I hope to give you enough written details to make recreating this painting easy and fun!

Supplies needed:

12x16" Canvas Panel

Painters tape/scotch tape

Cutting board

Exacto Knife 

Spray paint (black)

Paper (for butterflies)

Butterfly stencil 

Scissors 

Iridescent Medium (optional)

Superglue 

Your first task will be laying out the background of your trees and branches. Because some branches will be overlapping, I did this one piece of tape at a time. I would secure the tape at the top and then pull out enough tape to reach the bottom.

Before securing the tape tightly, I placed the cutting board under the tape and then chiseled out the various branches (with my "not so exacto" knife) to whatever shape fit their placement.
Pull the tape then up off of the cutting board (the top should still be secured in place), remove the cutting board, and stick down your newly formed branch outline.

For the smaller branches, I found it easiest to stick a long piece of tape to the cutting board and squiggle my way down the tape with my knife, cutting out about four different strands of jagged edged branches, that could then be cut up into whatever size I needed.

Next came the spray paint! No real science behind the application, just try to hold the spray can at a good angle so that it won't start "spitting" the paint and make the background blotchy. You just want a   pretty, even layer of paint, shot from all sides to make sure the four edges are also painted.

Once dry, you can simply pull off the tape and see what sort of background you've produced!! It makes a neat painting all on its own, don't you think?

Next came the butterflies. I wanted my butterflies to all be hand-painted using the marbling technique seen here. Then I used 3 different shaped butterfly stencils to draw out my butterflies so I could cut them out. I used the Iridescent medium on a few of the butterflies, but not on all of them. If you choose to add the iridescent medium, beware that if you also used the marbling technique, smearing rather than simply glazing over will be an issue...

Placement of the butterflies will be totally up to the artist's eye... However you like it, will make it PERFECT!! I just used superglue to secure the butterflies, but I tried to make sure that every one was on a white part... They may have secured just fine to the black paint, but I didn't want to risk having to do a repair job.;)


The finished 3D product from the side...

I love it! To me it's a beautiful mixture of modern art and fanciful color. :)



Was this blog helpful? I'd love to hear your input and any questions you may have!!:)
Thanks for reading!!

Isaiah 6

Isaiah 6

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. 2Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly.

3And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

4And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.

5Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

6Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar: 7And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged. 

8Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

9And he said, Go, and tell this people, Hear ye indeed, but understand not; and see ye indeed, but perceive not.

10Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and convert, and be healed.

11Then said I, Lord, how long? And he answered, Until the cities be wasted without inhabitant, and the houses without man, and the land be utterly desolate,

12And the LORD have removed men far away, and there be a great forsaking in the midst of the land.

13But yet in it shall be a tenth, and it shall return, and shall be eaten: as a teil tree, and as an oak, whose substance is in them, when they cast their leaves: so the holy seed shall be the substance thereof.



KJV

Psalms 143:6

Psalms 143:6 "I have spread out my hands to You; My being is like a thirsty land for You. Selah "

What's the point?

What’s the point?

That seemed to be the reoccurring theme behind a conversation a man (I’ll refer to as “C”) and I had at 5:00 in the morning the first Saturday of the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally… Not surprisingly at all, the whole conversation was a God-setup from the very beginning. It really started the evening before at the end of the supper meal. "C" sat down at the only available table which happened to be directly in front of the serving counter… ("C" is my age, average build, beard and long hair; he was at Sturgis with bail buddies, but was fine doing mostly his own thing.) The room started to clear out making a conversation over the counter even possible. Any other moment during the meal, the room would’ve been too loud for us to communicate… I don’t remember what we talked about exactly, something about the upcoming concerts at Buffalo Chip, something about touring the Hills, something about the crazy traffic… just icebreakers between complete strangers. We have many people come to camp with us that have to figure out what the “catch” is… Why the meals? Why the free showers? Why the flushing toilets when you haul water? Why the low prices – what’s the catch? Sometimes they have braced themselves for a sermon when they come in for a meal, especially the new campers… they’ve counted on us giving them something for free, but at the cost of them having to hear a message of the “good news”, so that we of course could report back to our supporters how many people we "saved" during the sin-infested Sturgis motorcycle rally… So it’s always fun to take them by surprise and let “free” actually mean free - without any stipulations…no catch. The message of the “good news” is obvious, but not because we’re preaching it with our mouths… It seemed like almost all of the workers this year were hurting one way or another, whether it was a loss in the family or sickness or physical/emotional pain. Everyone was hurting and the pain was obvious, but the Giver of joy was pouring out His Spirit so abundantly that the sort of laughter that makes your eyes water and makes your stomach feel like you’ve just done a thousand sit-ups, sort of became the theme of the kitchen crew. It got to where I counted on the meal prep, the meal serving, and the meal clean-up to be a good time with lots of laughing and funny stories and building each other up. So if a newby missed the message that "life is tough, but the Giver of Life is in the next breath you breathe if only you take it in" – well, then they simply weren’t looking hard enough. Thankfully, “C” was a newby last year (though I didn't remember him) and had studied us long enough to know he could come in and sit down and enjoy a meal without anyone giving him spiritual indigestion. He felt we were approachable, so he talked to us… the idea of that seems so insignificant, but when you wear all black, have long hair, and ride a motorcycle – you sometimes get this preconceived idea that certain kinds of people might not want to talk to you… we’re not that certain kind of people… So we gabbed about nothingness and went our separate ways.

Fast-forward now about 10 hours, and there I am in the kitchen behind the counter again, this time doing breakfast prep… Just to show you the God-setup behind our connection: this was the only morning of the whole rally I was alone in the kitchen. This was the only morning of the whole rally that I was not running nonstop to get breakfast ready to serve. This was the only morning of the rally that there wasn’t tables full of hungry people just waiting for the clock to strike 6 am; the very next day we served nearly 65 people between 6 and 6:15 am. This was the first morning I had awakened free of an eye infection (of which was always so much worse in the morning) I had been suffering from for days; if I would've still had this infection I would have done everything in my power to avoid the conversation to follow...  This morning was a God ordained appointment, where all the pieces fell into place…

 “C” apparently wasn’t much of an outhouse sort of fella, or maybe they were all occupied, whatever the reasoning he chose the restrooms in the building that morning. He had forgotten his flask in the restroom on his way out, but before he could get in and retrieve it, someone else had slipped in for a shower… so as he was waiting to get back in and get it, he decided he’d talk to me some more. “You’re Andy’s wife, right?” You can imagine the kind of relief that statement brought when I wasn’t entirely sure of the motivation behind him striking up a friendly conversation again with me…

”Are you like part owner, or you just work here or…?”

“My parents are the owners… so a little of both I guess.”

“Ok, so I have a question for you…”

“Ok. Shoot.”

Truthfully, I’m not entirely sure he had even been to bed at all that night. His words were very clear, but his tone was much, much more “mellow” then the evening before, and his eyes were intensely bloodshot. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for the “liquid courage” pulsing through him – this conversation would not have taken place without it, I’m sure. 

“Ok, so if Jesus is God’s son, and Jesus is the Messiah, and Jesus was a jew, right, ‘cause that’s what it says… then why do you meet on Sunday instead of the actual Sabbath?”

~ I’m now thinking one of two things is happening: either I forgot to get out of bed when my alarm went off and I’m just dreaming and will come to in an absolute panic any second now, or the night crew talked to this guy for a while already and I’m being punked… But on the off chance that this guy has read a history book of any kind on the Constantine era and has just legitimately asked me that question, I’ll answer him to the best of my understanding…

“Well, I don’t know why most Christians meet on Sunday, but we observe Saturday as our Sabbath. “

“Seriously? You meet on Saturday? Is there a meeting today?”

Oh how I wish I could’ve told him there was going to be one that morning… but I explained that it was an “our ox was in the ditch” sort of thing… and we just couldn’t have planned on meeting on one of the busiest days of the rally… I also explained that the Christian groups that were volunteering there like to host a Sunday meeting, so we let them run that… if we had someone volunteer to host a Sabbath one, we’d welcome that, no doubt…

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking what a strange and insignificant thing to ask about… why would this even be mulling around this guys head after a long night of partying… He told me later that he had been walking around downtown on Friday and he went into this booth that was set up where you could sign up for a drawing for a free Harley… and while you’re in there they “witness” to you (it’s run by one of the Baptist churches in town)… The trickery behind it had really aggravated him… What seemed to be happening, was that he had been working on a comeback to those “holier than thou” people who had tricked him into sitting down so they could tell him he was a sinner… Knowing history, he knew that “Christians” weren’t all saints themselves and he couldn’t wait to show them the error of their ways, just as he had been told the error of his… Hence the question – “Why do you meet on Sunday, when that wasn’t the day Jesus observed…” His game plan was somewhat deflated when I agreed with him that I also felt that Saturday was the original Sabbath… So he went fishing again…

~“I don’t know. I just want a real – something you can see - God. I’ve begged him to just show me something I could see and touch… that wouldn’t really be that hard if He’s the 'Creator of the universe'. Like, just do something so I know you’re real.” 

“No. It wouldn’t be that hard for sure, but what do you think that would do to you… what if you had the 'Creator of the universe' as your party favor… it’d be a pretty cool party trick to command Him to fill an empty glass with water… but how would that change you? Would it give you more faith or just fill you with pride? I have a birth defect that should make it impossible for me to hold myself upright, let alone walk or do normal activity… Andy always says that I am able to do more than what most girls without disabilities can do… God could heal me in a one time miracle, or He could walk in me daily, giving me the strength I need for that day. Letting me know He’s with me and wants me to accomplish that thing, that day. I think everyone has something like that… something that would be impossible, but isn’t - their 'proof'.”

He went on to tell me about how he was with a group of his friends one time and he told them he was going to prove that God was real and so he asked God to make it rain. And pretty soon he got a phone call from someone telling him to relay a message to so and so that he needed to move his car because it was flooding from a sudden cloudburst…

“Well, there you go. That’s very cool.” I said.

“Yeah, but other times it didn’t happen.” He replied.

“Yeah. It’ll always happen for you spiritually though… If there’s someone you can’t forgive, or someone hurting you somehow – pray for them sincerely to be blessed, and you’ll instantly feel Him spiritually and you’ll know without a doubt He’s real. Going against human nature… That’s where He’ll be – every time. In my opinion, that’s why we go through trails, so He can reveal His greatness to us… ”

Tears were slipping down his cheeks by now… His disgust with reality may seem like a disorganized jumble of thoughts, but if I had to guess, I would say that every conclusion he was putting forth had at some time in his life been the wall that kept him from turning his life around…

~“I don’t know. I just wonder why… what’s the point to all this.” Anger was the reigning emotion for him while we talked…

“I don’t know anything about anything, but to me this is what our purpose is… I think God was roaming the universe, creating beings for all different purposes for all sorts of reasons, but He was longing for a being who would choose to love Him…So He created a being with the ability to choose, and He knew He couldn’t reveal Himself to them in His entirety or it wouldn’t be a choice… it would all only be out of fear.”

He was quiet for a little while. Trying to wrangle his emotion. And then said: 

“Another thing I always think…that “saved by grace” thing… I prayed that sinners prayer or whatever when I was like 9… Nine! What on earth could I have possibly done to need to be saved from at 9… Now when I think of everything I’ve done, I just think how could I possibly ever do anything to be good enough to be “saved”…if I was bad at 9…”

“You couldn’t. I couldn’t. Nobody could. That’s the thing about Jesus – He covers us so that whatever is seen of us is seen only through Jesus… Not because of something we do or don’t do, but because of how great He is… That’s why I try to do things that are what He desires…not because I don’t want to sin so I can save myself, but because He’s such a loving heavenly Father, I want to do things that bring Him joy.”

He referenced the NT scripture of the unclean being clean at some point in the conversation. I told Him that scripture was clearly telling us not to call people unclean who He has called clean… And what a hope that was for us as being a “grafted” in people… to which he told me I had lost him and he didn’t know what I was talking about.;) It was very difficult to gage his knowledge of scripture, so I told him if he reads the Bible again and comes across verses that talk about God being the vine and we are the branches… or anything about being grafted in… that’s what I’m talking about.

He furthered the conversation, “Sin. I don’t know.. it’s just like these rules that… they’re just like ‘Whatever. What’s the point’.”

I replied, “Yeah. You can’t let anyone tell you what sin is… People will tell you things like 'drinking is a sin' and other things… but the truth is God only ever made a law when it had to do with you hurting yourself or hurting someone else… that’s when He didn’t want you to do it… Drinking is fine as long as it doesn’t get to where you are hurting yourself or someone else…” He seemed to see some relevance to that, some purpose.

He shifted over and looked off to the side. I kept stirring my waffle mix. Then he muttered back again:

 “I don’t know. What’s the point. I’ve done too many things. I wouldn’t even want Him to forgive me now.”

Tears were coming down again.

“Do you remember the story of the prodigal son?”   

 ~“Who?”

“The son who had lived off the riches of his father’s house until he was an adult, and then decided he wanted to go off on his own and do things his own way…”

~“Oh yeah, yeah.”

I could tell he remembered the story and wanted me to stop telling it… but I felt like I should tell it to the end:

“So he lived off his father’s riches, squandering it away until he had nothing left. Finally, he found himself wallowing with the pigs… and he remembered that even the servants at his father’s house live better then he does. If only by some chance his father could find enough forgiveness to let him come back to simply be a servant…so he headed home. Word got out that his son was coming back and before the son could even reach the gate, the father was running to him with handpicked clothes and he had ordered a feast to be prepared… not because of how good the son was or what the son had done, but because of how loving that father was… That’s how the heavenly father is to me. That’s the image I have of Him…”  

It was quiet again for a bit.

~“I don’t know. What about that ‘if you get rid of 1 spirit, 7 more will take it’s place’? I sure don’t need 7 more.”

“Sure. Well, the one thing you can know for certain is God is in control of all spirits. He’s in charge. So if it’s 1 or 7 or whatever, call on God and they have to surrender.”

~“Oh yeah, I know whenever I’m afraid or whatever… when there’s something spiritual happening that’s terrifying… I just call on God to help me. I know He’s there.”

It’s pretty obvious to deduce that our man “C” was bathed in some form of Christianity at some point in his life… He knew all the right clichés… He probably took it to task to “save” his friends, and the world. I think he felt that sometimes God was there for him and sometimes He wasn’t. At some juncture in his life, he asked “What’s the point?”. He went just as far as he wanted to go in the opposite direction - wherever the high would take him… But the “up” always had a “down”… And I think he is tired of hitting bottom… I hope I didn’t speak to him that day; I hope he doesn’t remember my slurred together verbal dissertation… My hope is that in his spirit he got this overwhelming sensation that there is a Father who loves him, has never not loved him, and has been there especially in the trials. And that this Father’s desire is only that his son stops hurting himself, and falls back into the loving arms of grace, to be clothed in the riches of joy and the splendor of peace… to find a hope rather than a high and a comfort despite the low.

When people started to come in for breakfast that morning, he hurried back to his camp to try to sleep a bit more. And when I saw him again later I treated him as though the conversation had never happened, but happy that he had made it in in time to grab a waffle. We looked over his maps and discussed the different routes. I was careful not to mention our divine appointment to any of the “ministries” at the campground as I knew it would only make him bait for the wolves… If he decides to make any lasting changes in his life, it will have to be done with a sober mind, not clouded with anger… it’ll have to be something real. He’ll have to find its purpose, its point. God is calling him back, out of the hurt and pain. When he comes to that crossroad to either choose death or choose life. I’m praying, and I know you will as well, that he’ll choose life, and never look back.