Here kitty, kitty... Meet Paws, aka Xena, Warrior Princess. Her hobbies include, but are not limited to: wall climbing, long jumping, distance running, wall running,
obstacle course competition, fetch, lethal combat training, table/counter dancing, fishing, sightseeing, and some (when absolutely necessary) sleeping. All door jambs must be scaled. All curtains must be tamed.
Ribbons, string, and loose hair will meet their demise. She's not tempted in the least by inexpensive cuisine; only fine dinning will do.
Just in case you were wondering... you're not her type. Felines, canines, people-ines, any breathing thing... need not impose on her livelihood. Unless you are offering to be/or to bring breakfast... you're not assumed essential. Don't take it personally. Her very, very distant ancestors were worshiped for their sleek, distinguished, and sophisticated... snobbery. She requires the same elevation of royalty, along with the adoration of a warrior. If you feel inadequate to be in her presence, don't worry. She's used to peasantry, as she daily finds herself unequaled in company. While you fretfully aspire to ascertain such qualifications, she'll be napping... the honored guest that she is.
Shhhh... quiet, please. Do not disturb.
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